That Looks Like A Story

They say that every picture is worth a thousand words, and lately, that's the path my writing has been taking. I see a photo, I get an idea for a story, and I work like the dickens to write it down. My short stories tend toward the scifi, fantasy, and supernatural genres. Tell me what you think of my stories—good, bad, or indifferent—I like to be critiqued.

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Location: Edmonds, Washington, United States

I'm a 47yo white male in a long term gay relationship. Family is the most important thing to me and I make sure that my family has what it needs to survive. My hobby is board game design and my company, Clever Mojo Games, has published one game so far.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

BNU: Idea In Use

Here are the instructions for lesson two part two...

Ideas can come fast and thick, but an idea alone does not create a science fiction story.
1. Return to the story idea you worked with in Lesson 1.
2. Write a one page passage from your story that embodies the science fiction idea on which your story is based.

Ok, here's a one page (well if you print it in small type it's one page) passage from the story evolving out of my "smart drug" idea. Let me know what you think...

This Chapter: 605 Words

Sharp Minds
By W. David MacKenzie

Even after nearly thrity-five hours at my workstation, words still flowed from my fingertips like fine brandy as I crafted the merger proposal between my client, IndusGlobal, and Petrolox, Asia’s third largest petroleum cartel. A corner of my mind stood aloof from the creative processes melding words and diagrams on the holographic display. It analyzed the proposal for financial impact, cultural sensitivity, and likely reception based on the psych profiles of Petrolox’s Board of Directors. The result? A win-win scenario that would create a world energy leader and net me a tidy four million in commissions.

The rosy sunset had deepened to velvet purple behind Mauna Loa when my comstar vibrated and a soft simulated voice sounded in my head. “Excuse me, Mr. Preston. You have a call from Mr. Wu.”

I touched the small bump behind my right ear to take the call. “Bryan, what’s up?” I said. Bone conductivity carried my words to the comstar implant and the nerve-link fed my partner’s frantic voice from the tiny satellite phone directly into my inner ear.

“Jimmy, have you seen the feed?”

“No, my agent’s on mute while I wrap up the IndusGlobal documents.” I looked into the computer display and sure enough, my personal agent icon was bouncing up and down, trying to get my attention.

“For God’s sake, Jimmy, turn it on! We’re ruined!” Bryan’s voice trailed off and I reached into the holographic image to tap the frenetic agent icon. The icon swelled into the handsome male face of my personal digital agent and moved to the front of the display.

“Good evening, Mr. Preston.”

“Good evening, Gerrard.” I said to the face. In my head Bryan let out an exasperated sigh. He never understood why I was polite to a computer program. “Do you have anything for me, Gerrard?”

“Yes, sir. If you have not already taken your evening dose of Modafimax then please do.”

“Ah, thanks, Gerrard.” I pulled the pillbox from my shirt pocket and took out one of the four magenta pills. I mused over the brightly colored tablet. Such a wonderful little miracle. One pill a day focused my mind, sharpened my intellect, and removed any need for sleep. This little pill was the boon of the business world. There was no limit to what one could achieve with twenty-four fully productive hours in every day. I smiled at the proposal that floated just behind Gerrard’s head. When this deal was delivered to IndusGlobal, I would be one very wealthy man and I owed it all to the little magenta pill between my fingers.

“Anything else, Gerrard?”

“Yes sir. There is a breaking news bulletin flagged urgent by the feed service”

“Show it to me, please.”

“Finally,” said Bryan’s voice in my head.

A full width vid window opened in the holographic display and a stern faced newswoman began speaking. “The Food and Drug Administration announced just moments ago that it was issuing a world-wide recall and ban on the performance-enhancing drug, Modafimax, due to a series of previously unknown side effects of long term usage. Fifty-nine deaths have been linked to the drug in the last two hours and sources close to the FDA director say those deaths were agonizing and violent. Modafimax manufacturer, Pharmastat, could not be reached for comment but the New York Stock Exchange has delisted the company and stopped all trading in the company’s shares to avoid panic selling….”

The reporter’s voice faded away as I contemplated the last few pills in my possession. My Modafimax-enhanced mind raced through the probabilities, considered the options, and reached the inevitable conclusion. “Bryan, we’re screwed.”

3 Comments:

Blogger WDavid said...

I've received on classmate comment on this posting...

PhantomSquirrel...ROFL The last words of your passage were exactly what I thought when I was reading the news feed! I think this embodies your idea well. The beginning is maybe a tad slow but that will fix itself as you write the actual story. Good job!

6/08/2006 6:35 AM  
Blogger PeggySueO said...

I think this is a great start to your story!!

6/11/2006 6:00 PM  
Blogger Fred MacKenzie said...

Yeah I like the idea. Keep it going bro.

6/19/2006 6:23 PM  

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