Epilogue (634 words)
Here's the first fruit of your Galumphing Chart. The words selected at random were: Hummingbird, Sales Clerk, and Church. I turned it into an epilogue to the bomber story.
Epilogue
by W David MacKenzie
My wheelchair bumped and bounced across the cobblestones as Joshua pushed me through the crowded colonnade. The open-air temple teamed with worshipers intent on begging the attention of the Buddhist saints and sages tucked away in every alcove and altar of the ancient complex. Every supplicant carried a bundle of foot-long incense sticks to build bridges of smoke and spicy odors between heaven and earth, to carry their prayers and dreams to their chosen patrons. Aged grandmothers sought relief from arthritic pain or pleaded for an ailing grandchild. Harried businessman petitioned for favorable negotiations or safe travel. Newlywed couples asked for healthy sons and daughters to enrich their lives.
I wasn’t here today seeking blessings or boons; I’d come to offer thanks for a blessing already given, for a life spared against impossible odds, my life. A large basket of flowers sat in my lap; red-petalled daisies with butter-yellow centers, enormous pink and white lily blossoms with long green stamens tipped with yellow pollen, towering spikes of salmon shaded gladiolas, and fuchsia orchids shaped like the outstretched wings of dainty butterflies. I struggled to hold the mass of flowers as I bounced along.
Joshua slowed as we neared the shrine of the Sage of Healing and Medicine and he maneuvered the chair so that I was close to the offering table but not so close that I could just reach out and place the basket of flower on the shiny metal surface. He locked the chair’s brakes and then stepped back and waited. For everything the sage had done for me, for sending the stranger to warn us of the bomb in my ice cream parlor, for sparing me from the worst of the bomb’s blast, for speeding my recovery in the hospital, I had prepared two gifts of thanks. The flowers were just the traditional gift.
I tucked the flowers tightly in the crook of one arm and used the other to grip the chair as I slowly lifted my body from the seat. My legs and back flamed with pain but I fought it back. Muscles that had been battered and torn in the explosion and had not carried my weight for a month screamed now at the abuse I forced upon them. I willed each wounded tendon and ligament to move in concert with my battered muscles until I stood, trembling, before the Sage and his offering table. Relaxing my clenched jaw, I began to recite the Sage’s mantra. I shuffled my left foot forward, then my right, and then my left again. I offered up my strength of will to the Sage and, when I reached the table, I added the basket of flowers to my offering.
I stood there beside the table, eyes closed to help control the pain and reciting the Sage’s mantra over and over in low tones. The scent of the flowers filled my nostrils with delicate perfumes and a soft buzzing swelled and faded in my ears. Curious as to the cause of this sound I opened my eyes. The gladiolas stood only inches from my face, green stems studded with peach velvet blooms, and dancing among the flowers was an iridescent green and blue hummingbird. It hovered over a stalk of blossoms and probed each one in turn with swift plunges into the flower’s trumpet, a backwards drift, then more delicate probing.
When it had worked its way to the top most gladiola, the Sage’s messenger floated before my eyes, a living gem of feathers and ceaseless energy. It had tasted my offering, and acknowledged my gifts. My hands flew to my astonished face and tears of joy trickled down my cheeks. The messenger hovered a moment longer then flitted up into the wide blue sky and vanished, carrying my gratitude to the Sage.
Epilogue
by W David MacKenzie
My wheelchair bumped and bounced across the cobblestones as Joshua pushed me through the crowded colonnade. The open-air temple teamed with worshipers intent on begging the attention of the Buddhist saints and sages tucked away in every alcove and altar of the ancient complex. Every supplicant carried a bundle of foot-long incense sticks to build bridges of smoke and spicy odors between heaven and earth, to carry their prayers and dreams to their chosen patrons. Aged grandmothers sought relief from arthritic pain or pleaded for an ailing grandchild. Harried businessman petitioned for favorable negotiations or safe travel. Newlywed couples asked for healthy sons and daughters to enrich their lives.
I wasn’t here today seeking blessings or boons; I’d come to offer thanks for a blessing already given, for a life spared against impossible odds, my life. A large basket of flowers sat in my lap; red-petalled daisies with butter-yellow centers, enormous pink and white lily blossoms with long green stamens tipped with yellow pollen, towering spikes of salmon shaded gladiolas, and fuchsia orchids shaped like the outstretched wings of dainty butterflies. I struggled to hold the mass of flowers as I bounced along.
Joshua slowed as we neared the shrine of the Sage of Healing and Medicine and he maneuvered the chair so that I was close to the offering table but not so close that I could just reach out and place the basket of flower on the shiny metal surface. He locked the chair’s brakes and then stepped back and waited. For everything the sage had done for me, for sending the stranger to warn us of the bomb in my ice cream parlor, for sparing me from the worst of the bomb’s blast, for speeding my recovery in the hospital, I had prepared two gifts of thanks. The flowers were just the traditional gift.
I tucked the flowers tightly in the crook of one arm and used the other to grip the chair as I slowly lifted my body from the seat. My legs and back flamed with pain but I fought it back. Muscles that had been battered and torn in the explosion and had not carried my weight for a month screamed now at the abuse I forced upon them. I willed each wounded tendon and ligament to move in concert with my battered muscles until I stood, trembling, before the Sage and his offering table. Relaxing my clenched jaw, I began to recite the Sage’s mantra. I shuffled my left foot forward, then my right, and then my left again. I offered up my strength of will to the Sage and, when I reached the table, I added the basket of flowers to my offering.
I stood there beside the table, eyes closed to help control the pain and reciting the Sage’s mantra over and over in low tones. The scent of the flowers filled my nostrils with delicate perfumes and a soft buzzing swelled and faded in my ears. Curious as to the cause of this sound I opened my eyes. The gladiolas stood only inches from my face, green stems studded with peach velvet blooms, and dancing among the flowers was an iridescent green and blue hummingbird. It hovered over a stalk of blossoms and probed each one in turn with swift plunges into the flower’s trumpet, a backwards drift, then more delicate probing.
When it had worked its way to the top most gladiola, the Sage’s messenger floated before my eyes, a living gem of feathers and ceaseless energy. It had tasted my offering, and acknowledged my gifts. My hands flew to my astonished face and tears of joy trickled down my cheeks. The messenger hovered a moment longer then flitted up into the wide blue sky and vanished, carrying my gratitude to the Sage.
6 Comments:
Yo bro, Interesting.
A couple typos...
"Harried businessman petitioned for favorable negotiations or safe travel." Should be businessmen?
"...just reach out and place the basket of flower on the shiny metal surface." Flowers?
You actually got me on "worshipers". I thought it was worshippers. Glad I double check things on dictionary.com before I mention them.
Not a bad short story. But since I don't know anything about Buddhist rituals and temples I can't critique that for you. I trust you did your research.
Another interesting piece, but, try as hard as I could, I could find only one of the three words you chose in your gallumping... hummingbird. Where was the church and sales clerk?
In paragraph 3 I might have said "Curious, I opened my eyes."
In paragraph 5 (I think) you left an "s" off of flower(s).
Otherwise, I liked it.
Momma you got your typos backwards :)
Switch paragraph 3 & 5 and then it fits.
Fred and Mom...thanks for the comments and corrections.
The words were hummingbird, sales clerk, and church. I took a little libery perhaps with the last two. This is an epilogue to the FBI bomber story so the sales clerk is the ice cream clerk that Duardo pushed out of the store before the bomb went off. The Buddhist temple is the church.
The details of the temple were gained from my visit to Taipie. Read the Taipei Day Five blog entry. Oh, what's that, I didn't post a day five entry? Oh heck! The temple was BEAUTIFUL! You should see the pictures. :-)
Yes we should, but you are keeping them to yourself, eh?
Here are the only comments to the "Epilogue" on the classroom discussion board...
amandaW writes: wow! what an imagination or what a life you've lived! this was filled with suspense,tranquility, and spirtual fullfillment. excellent piece. keep writing! Amanda
BG writes: I really liked this one WDavid. You have such a great talent for description. You capture a reader's attention immediately. I wish you all the best.
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